open rp post

[onlydoubts]

OPEN RP POST

1. comment with a prompt or starter

2. profit

Comments

[flightforfreedom]

His heart was hammering way too fast, thudding against his ribs like a maddened, trapped bird.

"It's not your fault." The words don't even filter through his brain - they are just pure, solid, truth. "You've done nothing wrong. I'm the one-- I'm the one hurting myself here, bud, not you." His voice grew a little quieter.

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I wanted you to be happy - that was it, I just wanted you to be happy, and I almost-" He swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. "It's my fault. She doesn't need to know. You can - you can go on your honeymoon and just --" But he couldn't get through the whole sentence.

"... I can't lose you," he whispered, pulse pounding in his throat. "I can't hurt her but I can't lose you, Bodhi."

[onlydoubts]

How do I go back?

How does he go back to simply Poe being his friend when these long buried feelings linger between them, so out in the open? The image of Josie, laughing and smiling flashes in his mind, and another one of the three of them, drinking beer and eating pizza at a bar late one night follows it.

Bodhi loves them both, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone. His new wife, or best friend.

"You're not going to lose me, yeah? No matter what, I'm still here for you."

He doesn't blame Poe for his confession coming when it did, or for his feelings to begin with. Not even slightly. Maybe if Bodhi had said something before, but... But he just wishes things could be simple, could be normal.

He'd said he wouldn't lose his friendship, but can he really promise that things would be the same? Can he really act normal or natural about this now? Bodhi swallows the lump in his throat, and looks back at the door where the rest of the party is waiting beyond it for him.

[flightforfreedom]

I'm still here for you, Bodhi said, and Poe swallowed thickly.

No, he wasn't. Even if he somehow felt the same -- the whole point was he wasn't there. Not like that. Not in the way Poe so desperately yearned for, without even knowing it, for so long. And here he is, messing things up again.

The best thing to do was to just let Bodhi go. To let him glance back at the hall, to back away, to tell him 'sure, of course' and then to leave as fast as his feet could take him.

But instead was already reaching out against his own will, already sliding a hand to cup Bodhi's jaw, already leaning in to steal another kiss he didn't deserve and shouldn't have.